Author: Maria

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Doritos are of the devil

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It occurs to me that eating Doritos is like my pathetic and woeful concupiscence. I don’t even mean that in a funny way, though it is a rather over-the-top analogy.

I stared at an open Dorito bag for about 5 minutes, circling back to where it was as I was putting away things in the kitchen. It kept calling to me. I don’t even like Doritos all that much. The salt, I suppose, is the draw.

The problem is, once I opened that bag, I couldn’t eat just one. And before I knew it, I had gobbled up a quarter of the bag. I didn’t feel at all satisfied, and it left a bad taste in my mouth. For all the wiping on a napkin, my fingers still carry the faint stain of processed cheese and fake ingredients.

Just like sin. Its ugly allure, my powerlessness to resist, and the mess. It leaves a mess.

I’m so grateful for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and the availability of it time after time.

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My prayer for 2016

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and that I think I am following your will does not mean I am actually doing so.

But I believe the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all I am doing. I hope I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

~ Thomas Merton

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the end and the beginning

novena end

If you’ve been following my posts this past week or so, you’ve seen a number of petitions, prayers for some particular graces. They are all a part of the St. Thomas More novena I’ve been praying for a special intention.

As so often happens to me when I embark on an intentional prayer regimen, I grow in ways that I wasn’t expecting or anticipating. I mean, I started with a very specific intention, but it moved in me a number of changes that I’ve experienced daily.

It jump-started my prayer life — something that got away from me with all the excuses about the end of term responsibilities gobbling up my time. I am annoyed with myself for letting that “lack of time” excuse get me, every time. God operates outside of time, and I find that when I give Him that first hour of the day, I manage to have the time to do what I need (read that as want). Yet — I’ve managed to get everything done that was meaningful.

I’m done with the novena, but I intend to fill that time with something else. More prayer. More contemplation. More intentionality in my use of time.

Here’s a piece of the novena:

Dear St. Thomas More, you spent your whole earthly life preparing for the life to come. Everything you endured prepared you not only for the glory God wished to bestow upon you in heaven, but for your work as the patron of lawyers, judges and statesmen, and steadfast friend to all who call upon you. Through your prayers and intercession, obtain for us aid in all our necessities, both corporal and spiritual, and the grace to follow in your footsteps, until at last we are safely home with you in the mansions our Father has prepared for us in heaven.

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