I’m feeling a bit like this broken sand dollar that I found on my morning walk. I’ve been at the mercy of the changing tides, hoping for the day when I’m made whole again in the presence of our Lord.
It’s been lent, for sure. I haven’t been able to get a handle on it, on myself, on all the things I know to be good for my soul. And yet, I trudge on. Perhaps, like the sand dollar, I should let myself be carried onto the beach and into the sun.
It’ll be ok.
My quest for peace begins and ends with the Lord. Here, in Adoration, the hum of the fan melts away, and the friendly chirping of birds just outside the window becomes more and more distant until the only sound I hear is the swoosh of my heartbeat in my ears. I’m wide awake but my breathing is deep and regular, the way it’s supposed to be.
I seem to hold my breath a lot. The busier I get, the more noise confounds me — not just ambient sounds of the news on tv or sirens in the distance, but a kind of internal noise that distracts and constricts me.
The antidote is literally in front of me now. An hour spent with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament silences the noise. I enjoy just sitting with Jesus with no agenda, no plan, no pressing need for conversation — just presence.
It’s a gift I cherish.
