groundhog day, huh?

I woke up to a number of faux-concerned Tweets about hearing Sonny and Cher’s I Got You, Babe. Thanks, Bill Murray, for this iconic film, but I could really care less about the little rodent…and his Southern counterpart, General Beauregard Lee. I just usually send the weather dog outside in the morning. If she comes back wet, it’s raining. If she won’t go out, it’s cold. I’m good with that.

But I do love the film. It’s funny, in that way that Bill Murray could issue a death sentence and it would sound funny. Maybe it’s the smirk. Delivery is everything in comedy, no?

Naturally there’s more to it than that. Murray’s character is a giant ball of ego. His arrogance is beyond off-putting; it clearly has made him a miserable person, disliked by his colleagues, and cause for his punishment to live groundhog day over and over again.

This punishment is really no punishment at all…it’s an opportunity for him to get the day right. He goes through a transformation, first, in anger and frustration at the crappy lot he has drawn in life, to relive this miserable day in a miserable town, then in an astonishing display of selfish hedonism, followed by a terrible period of despair when he attempts, over and over again, to kill himself.

Somewhere in that process he has an awakening when he glimpses the misery that lies outside of himself. He is moved by a homeless man that dies, in spite of his efforts to save him. It changes him in a profound way and he begins to live his day in the service of others.

I’m sure there are many well-written and thoughtful reviews of this film out there…a few, even, that would touch upon the religious themes inherent in the story. My contribution to the conversation is simple. It’s a story about intimacy. It’s about relationships.

Murray’s character, Phil, has no real interest in intimacy at the beginning, and while there are references to his desire for sexual encounters masking as intimacy, it is beyond that. It’s about making human connections. When the homeless man inspires compassion, we see a shift in the way he treats others, and it impacts the way he sees himself.

That’s one of my personal favorite themes, by the way, this struggle for authenticity and connection with others. I’ve sometimes thought that I live in my own Groundhog Day, entering the classroom day in and day out encountering the same condition, over and over again.

It’s depressing as hell. No wonder Phil takes a bath with a toaster — when conditions don’t change and I find myself doing the same things, saying the same things, getting the same outcomes, it can get me down.

And then there’s the moment of realization — that I am dealing with people. Human beings. It puts a new spin on claims to be pro-life. Easy to say when protecting a tiny, precious baby.  A little harder when facing what I could casually and cruelly call the unloveable in our society, passing through my classroom as a number, a statistic, just a letter in a gradebook. And yet, I’m afforded the opportunity to face them over and over again until I change, like Phil.

 

today is full of the unexpected

I just walked the dog and the night sky blew me away.

What is it about winter, even when it’s mild, that makes the night sky so sharp, so crisp? I could stare at the moon and the stars all night. I guess I’m not the only one…

I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.  ~Vincent Van Gogh

There’s something so mysterious in the stars. Transcendent. Eternal.

When I was a kid I wanted to go into space. I’d eat up all the science fiction I could…and dream of galaxies far, far away. Sometimes I still pretend, but mostly, I forget that the stars are there. I get caught up in the business of boring grown-up chores and walking with my head down, careful of where I’m stepping.

I forget to live in the moment, and I don’t even mean to live in the moment in some carpe diem way… just, you know, to be present and look at what I’m looking at and see it.

Instead, I seem to be clenched, trying to move three steps ahead at a time, but getting nowhere.

It’s funny that the things that take my breath away…the amazing miracle of God’s creation, whether it’s in the translucent icy brilliance of a snow flake, or a perfectly formed shell on the beach, or the twinkly sparkle of a star…they catch my breath before I begin to breathe again. They stop me in my tracks, like God Himself puts his hand out and says, look.

Look. And see.

Of course, when I do, I see the order and harmony of His creation, and I can’t help but smile and wonder why I’m in such a hurry. Why I’m looking down instead of up. I breathe deeply and calmly and see that in that moment, however fleeting, I see the mystery that is God, revealed in the twinkling of a star, the flash of a meteor, perhaps in the glow of the moon.

 

what I loved in 2011

abundance * adoration * adventures * afgans * afternoons * ambition * applesauce * artichoke dip * astropops * balloons * bands * bankrolls * baseball caps * basketball * baubles * beaches * blackouts * blogs * blueberries * books * breakfasts on the go * brownies * bubble baths * bubbly * bunnies * cameras * candidness * cartoons * Catan * champions * cheese puffs * chili * chocolate * chocolate covered strawberries * Christy * church choirs * clean floors * clothes out of the dryer * cnmc! * coffee * coke floats * comforters * comfy shoes * cooking * cuban food * daiquiris * dancing * deadlines * deep conversations * dew on the grass * facebook * friends * family * fishing trips * friends * fuzzy socks * games of fetch * giggles * girls night * gizmos * glad tidings * glee clubs * goobers * good books * gummi bears * hand and foot * hand holding * his and hers and ours * hubby * hugs * ice cream * ice pops * icicles * imps * instagrams * ironed linen * John * Jonathan * kids * kisses * laughter * line dances * losing * loud music * manicures * martini lunches * massages * Mexican Train * milkshakes * Momma Mary * moonbeams *moonlight * movie nights * naps * patios * PB & J * sammiches * peaches *  peanuts * penpals * perfect jeans * phone calls *pictures * pie * pilgrimages * pillow talk * pizza * podcasts * poems * quiet dinners * rain * raucous lunches * reading * retreats * risks * road trips * rocket ships * rocks * rosaries * roses * sand * scotch * scripture * sea * seedless watermelons * shells * shenanigans * shit-eating grins * shooting stars * silence * silly trips * skype calls * smiles * snow * snowballs * snuggles *  sodas * soft music * stars * stone mountain daisies * sunbeams * sunrises * sunsets sunshine * tea * tears * tenderness * texts * the Lord * thunderstorms * tides *  toes wiggling in the sand * tom foolery * travel * trees * twitter peeps * umbrellas * understanding * values * veggies * Venus * Vicky * Waffle House * walks on the beach * waves * whispers * wine * winning * words with friends * writing * yellow roses * yes * yo-yo * zabaglione * zanyness * zest * zingers * zombies

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