how to write a book in 5 easy steps

journal1. Come up with a great idea. Congratulate yourself on your brilliance.

2. Write a fantastic first page. Show everybody who loves you. Especially show your mother. Congratulate yourself on your brilliance.

3. Show your work to that friend. You know, the one who has no qualms about telling you when you’re full of shit.

4.Go back to the page and do better. Congratulate yourself on picking your friends well.

5. Write. Write some more. Write again. Forget to do laundry. Eat take out. Generally abandon everything. Remember* to take a shower.

* Remember to thank all the kind people who encouraged you, especially the people who wondered what happened to all the clean underwear and towels, and the people who read mediocre drafts and said do better, and people who never read a word and said you can do it, and people who bought you mojitos and laughed, and the dog, who thinks you’re brilliant, no matter what.

it’s Tuesday! what’s inspiring you today?

he's a pterodactyl
he’s a pterodactyl

I got out of my car and freaked out a little bit because I had the feeling that my neighbor’s gigantic pine trees were cracking and falling down. Let me tell you how creepy that was — the trees are very tall, and falling branches around here kill people.

I looked up, trying to scan the tree tops for the offending branch getting ready to annihilate me, when I caught sight of the culprit.

This is the biggest, baddest woodpecker I have ever seen. And he was going to town on the branch. Going to town.

I admire his tenacity. Peck peck peck. Going to town.

I’m inspired to get back to my keyboard and do the same. Peck peck peck.

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