Tag: Jesus

Posted on

Friends, Old and New

Maria Morera Johnson 2018
Maria Morera Johnson 2018

This weekend I spoke at a Magnificat prayer breakfast. I told my faith story, something I am more and more comfortable doing even though it is a changing story that grows and unfolds as I continue this walk with the Lord. It is inextricably bound to my relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mary, too. Relationship, of course, is at the root of my experience.

I shared that I feel like the workers who came in at the end of the day and still received a full day’s wages (Matthew 20:1-16). I am grateful for a merciful God who knows my heart and wants me close. For too long, I lived a compartmentalized life, where I put church in a box to be opened only on Sundays, prayer set aside to be recited and checked off a list while the rest of the time I enjoyed the give and take of relationships with family and friends.

Over the weekend, I connected with good friends, women with whom I’ve worked in the new evangelization, women with whom I have much in common as we shared about our faith, our loves, disappointments, and joys that make up so much of our experience in mid-life. Women with whom I’ve shared a spiritual home in our parish for decades. And to my delight, women I reconnected with after many decades!

We talked for long hours, at lunch and over dinners, laughing joyfully through most of it, but also acknowledging our moments of pain and insecurity – allowing ourselves to become vulnerable for a moment. This give and take that I took for granted in my friendships over the years and learned to foster and appreciate in deeper spiritual friendships as I got older, was the missing element in my relationship with the Lord – it wasn’t relational.

I learned, through these friendships, how to open up, trust, share, and most of all, be present to the Lord – and most importantly, to just be in His presence. It didn’t happen overnight, but through the years I’ve learned to apply these gifts of friendship to my relationship with the Blessed Mother and Jesus. I’m grateful for the friends who have been bridgebuilders for me. Through their holy example so much like the examples of the saints, I’ve learned to respond to the most important relationship in my life, with the Lord.

I’m still learning. To be present. To be vulnerable. To be loved.

Posted on

the Sacred Heart and my breaking heart

sacredheart
A year ago, almost to the day, on the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, I sat in a little church off the main road to nowhere on the Gulf of Mexico, and had a deep conversion.

I’m not one to say the words, “Jesus spoke to me” or “the Holy Spirit prompted me” but rather, I feel a sense of peace and consolation when I believe my actions are reflective of the Lord’s will in my life. It’s taken me a lifetime to get to this place, believe me. If nothing else, St. Teresa’s words below have given me the strength to move forward, instead of looking at the past and the mistakes I’ve made on this journey:

“To reach something good it is very useful to have gone astray, and thus acquire experience.” St. Teresa of Avila

I don’t recommend this route to holiness to everyone. In fact, it’s usually easier to get it right the first time, but St. Teresa was a bit of a screw-up early on, and look at what a badass saint she became, so I’m in good company — saintly company. If that doesn’t give me hope, I don’t know what could.

So last year, I was in the midst of a personal crisis. Not a crisis of faith, but rather, a crisis of vocation, both in terms of employment, and more importantly, as a wife. I had reached that point in mid-life when, I suppose, people have the kind of breakdown that makes them buy Ferraris. Red ones. You know what I mean.

I bought a waterfront piece of property and decided to quit my job.

Wait for it….

Jesus made me do it.

I’d give the hairy eyeball to any one of my friends who came out and made such a wild statement. What? God is telling you to quit your job and drop a load of money you don’t really have on a move to another state? Now? With an ill husband?

I’m telling you, Jesus said do it. So I did. Well, we did. My husband and I.

You see, when we were first married almost 31 years ago, actually, years before we were married, we’d sit under the Banyan trees on the 9th hole of the Coral Gable Country Club golf course and look at the stars and talk about our dreams. I wanted to write a book. He wanted to be a millionaire by age 30 and buy a house on the beach. Neither happened in our 30s. Or our 40s.

In our 50s, it occurred to us that we might want to shit or get off the pot — you know, actually do something about these dreams. I wrote a book.

He took a rather unwanted disability retirement. Time wasn’t on our side.

But that didn’t matter. You see, we have Jesus on our side.

So we decided it was time to make his dream happen. And we started looking for waterfront property. And looking. And looking some more. It wasn’t happening. There’s a difference between taking a risk,  pushing the limits of your resources to a risky point, and completely losing your mind. In my experience, Jesus likes a good chuckle every once in awhile and likes to see us lose our minds.

OK. I get it.

Jesus, I trust in you.

Cue this road to nowhere. We went in search of a reasonably priced property we saw online. You’d think we’d know better. The property was a mess. I was a mess. I was a hot mess, folks, and poor John wasn’t about to poor a bucket of ice over my head, though maybe he should have. He certainly had a right to do it given my tantrum, but no. He’s a good guy, and found a church instead. So I could go cool off in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.

This is why the sacrament of holy matrimony is so important folks. You need three to make a marriage work, but that’s not today’s point. Today’s point is that I was a hot mess, and Jesus had to slap some sense into me.

You see, I didn’t want that property because it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted an open beach to take long walks. I wanted sand between my toes. My husband can’t walk on sand. He needs a boardwalk. I had my dream, and wanted to design his, too. I didn’t see that, but Jesus did. Oh, boy, did he. And he was mad at me for being selfish. It was at that little church that I heard him say to me, yes, heard, in my head and in my heart so there was no mistake, “I gave you your dream. Get out of the way so I can give him his.”

I heard it. Loud and clear. Yes, Lord. Yes.

When I came around the side of the building to get into the waiting car, I saw the For Sale sign behind John. He hadn’t seen it because he was watching out for me. Ha. Ocean front property for sale. Right. There.

A lot happened since then. It has been a year of building, and I don’t just mean a house.

Next week, we move in.

 

 

 

Posted on

Our Lady of the Holy Rosary

So here we are on October 7th, this Feast of Our Lady of the Holy Rosary. You didn’t think I’d escape posting something, right?

If you’ve read this blog for a while you’ll probably recognize this picture of a well-worn (um, make that well-prayed rosary) which I had for many years before finally giving it away. It was a Rosary Army rosary, which meant it was destined to be given away, but I held onto it for many, many, many years before passing it along to someone whom I knew loved the prayer, the Blessed Mother, and her Son as much as I do.

Timing, they say, is everything, and I was granted one last very important prayer on that rosary before passing it along to someone who would use it, even if it was only rarely, to think of me and my intentions. As it happens, I couldn’t have entrusted that rosary to a finer friend and prayer buddy.

Which of course leads me to today’s prayer on a new rosary —  made by the same beloved friend who made the blue and purple rosary above. The new one hasn’t been entirely broken in, and by that I mean, it’s still stiff in places where the twine doesn’t have much give.

It’s getting comfortable in my hand, but there are many, many, many decades left on it, where I’ll worry the twine “beads” a little more, sweat a little more, maybe cry a little more, and forget it in my jeans and run it through another wash a time or three.

And that’s ok. Because the rosary is meant to be used. It’s meant to be prayed, over and over again. And again. And again.

I admit that I have sentimental attachments to some of these little sacramentals. I get comfortable with one or another for a number of reasons — whether I like the particular clink of one, or the feel of another, or like this black and gold one that has that Steelers pin on it. I know you noticed it. I’m not praying for the Steelers, ok? Really. It’s a sentimental reminder to pray for a deceased friend who maybe did pray for a Steelers win a time or two. I won’t judge him. But I do smile and pray for his soul.

So whip out that rosary you have tucked away somewhere. It deserves to be used. Momma Mary deserves a little “phone call” today. Like the loving Momma that she is, she’ll quickly turn the conversation away from her, and to her Son.

Pin It on Pinterest