what a day! it’s been a while since I have a wild rant.

My day started rather early — before 7, took a quick shower, grabbed a bite, and then settled into the lousy routine of figuring out what to wear.

No, I am not some coy clothes horse. I have lost a little weight. Okay, I’ve lost a lot of weight. Something like a whole little kindergarten person. That’s a good thing. However, it has presented a bit of a wardrobe problem. It’s not like I can go shopping every day, and so I’ve kind of shopped as I’ve lost. That means stuff I wore last month is useless.

Cue this morning’s dilema. I had to dress for graduation (you want to know why I was going to commencement in the middle of July? I ask myself that question every July, too) which means I have to find a black or dark dress to wear under the regalia. Yes, that’s an awful lot of black for July in Georgia. Thank God for air-conditioning: the eighth wonder of the modern world.

Anyway, the night before I dusted off the robe  feeling all Hogwarts and stuff, and untangled the little tassle-thingie, inspected the hood which is looking a little ratty, and hung up a navy dress next to the robe. It looked good hanging in the bathroom.

And then this morning, I put on the dress. Let’s say it wasn’t a good fit and let it go, okay? I mean, I really could smuggle my kindergarten-age nephew in the dress, and maybe squeeze my godson in for good measure. It wasn’t a good look for me.

At that hour, without waking up John or agitating the dog who was already looking at me funny, I had to find an alternate. Luckily, there was a black dress that looked like it would fit, only it was sleeveless, and let me tell you that I’m not wearing anything sleeveless until I start going to the gym, but heck, I was going to have the robes, so no one was going to see my arms. It fit better than the other one and has a tie in the back so it actually looked fairly good on me. The only thing missing was pantyhose, and I have a secret stash of that for these kinds of emergencies.

By the way, we are required to wear the hose if you can beleive it (I guess the men are wearing ties).  Perfect! I looked grand. Or at least, like faculty should, so I proceeded on my merry way, stopping by the office on a small errand.

If ever the fates have smiled upon me it was today to have me go by the office. As I walked the 50 feet into the building I could feel that the queen-size pantyhose were coming loose. By the time I got to my office, they were by my knees and falling quickly. Can you imagine if that had happened in the processional? LOL, gives a new name to pomp and circumstance.

I’d like to stop here to thank my parents for teaching me to be adaptable and resourceful.

I locked my door,  grabbed a rubberband, hiked the dress up, tied a knot in the hose, and went on my merry way.

By the way, graduation was lovely, as always.